25 Gender Inclusive Ways to Say “Hey Guys”

One of my goals for this year is to stop using gender specific pronouns in group settings. I’m still working on it. It’s challenging, but whatever weak minded excuse you can put here to pardon our comfortable ignorance simply isn’t a good enough reason to ignore people’s identities. Plus for me personally, there’s like this weird voice that comes naturally when I start filming content that makes the phrase “hey guys” sound worse than it already does. No bueno.

As we celebrate PRIDE MONTH and the 52nd anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, It’s my responsibility to encourage active alley and creating inclusive environments, especially in this little corner of the internet. So I took the liberty of making this handy little list of alternative and inclusive pronouns in hopes we can all continue to grow and be the best advocates for EVERYONE (see what I did there), not only during PRIDE, but each and every day.

*Friendly reminder: These are strictly for group settings. When interacting on a personal level, I encourage you to seek out the individuals name and preferred pronoun and address the person as such.

Everybody / Everyone

Folks / Folx

Yall / You all / We all

All Yall / All of you / Each of you

We all

People

Humans

Members

Humankind

Yinz (if you’re in/from Pittsburgh)

‘N them (followers n them)

Any appropriate adjective with the word people (Party people, Beautiful people, Good people)

Friends

Darlings

Crew

Chums

Congregation

Allies

Beings that aren’t defined by social constructs like pronouns—haha!

Food names (Pumpkins, Muffins, Cupcakes, etc.)

Beloved

Peeps

Comrades

Squad

Team

So now that we have a starter list of alternative and inclusive group pronouns, let’s put them to practice! Look for opportunities to use these words and build a habit of inclusive language. Like I said before, no excuses!

Queen & Slim: Much More Than a Modern Day Black Love Story

Queen and Slim is classic Black love cinema folks will celebrate for years to come, much like Love Jones, or my favorite growing up, Love and Basketball. The story line itself isn’t particularly different, but because the story is told from a Black perspective (obviously) it adds dimension to the story that honestly, makes it a great one. There is a lot to appreciate in this film, everything from the lighting and framework that would easily allow the film to be paused at any given moment and still look like a beautifully curated photo, to the chemistry between the film’s leading roles, Daniel Kaluuya as Slim and Jodie Turner-Smith as Queen; however the most intriguing aspect of this movie is the perfectly placed nods and easter eggs honoring our history, our legacy, and our identities as Black folks.

I’ve broken down some take-always to better understand the film and hopefully point out some of the things you may not have realized. This post includes ideas and thoughts that can only be explained by knowing what happens in the movie. It’s safe to read for now, but this is your warning—there are spoilers ahead so if you haven’t seen the movie, read at your own risk…

The story begins in Cleveland on a bad Tinder date that quickly turns to the worst. After a short dinner filled with eye rolling and witty sarcasm, we flash to the car ride home when our leading roles get stopped by the police and end up killing the officer who pulled them over in self-defense. As we learn on their date, Queen is a lawyer and quickly puts things in perspective, concluding they must run. This alone is a defining moment in the film because if Queen and Slim were not Black, would this be their only option?

Slavery, the Underground Railroad, and the BLM Movement

Perhaps the most prominent of the symbolism used in Queen and Slim is its’ direct correlation to slavery, the Underground Railroad, and the Black Lives Matter movement. What’s cool about the premise is it IS the typical Black storyline we are used to seeing –Black people running for their freedom; however, it’s done in a way to honor and validate the major movements Black people started and experience in this country.

The story non-coincidentally starts in Cleveland, Ohio. This is significant because Ohio is known for being the final stop on the Underground Railroad as it houses The Ohio River, or as slaves called it, the River Jordan. Cleveland is noted for having corruption embedded in its police department, much like Ferguson, and it is also where 12 year old Tamir Rice was shot and killed by police officer Timothy Loehmann for playing with a toy gun on the playground. The film was also released November 27, 2019, 5 days after the 5 year anniversary of Rice’s death. We also see elements of the BLM movement during the protest scene, which although shocking, speaks to the anger in the Black community and the immense confusion that comes with living as a Black person in America.

From Cleveland, we see the couple escape to New Orleans, then Georgia, then finally to Florida, all common routes and stops along the Underground Railroad, and please note they traveled backwards from North to South. They stayed at safe houses, relied on word of mouth, and at one point hide to hide in the floorboards. They traveled with many of the conditions runaway slaves were forced to deal with– no money, no maps, no allies, no peace—nothing, but each other. Even the bar where Queen and Slim had their second date was called The Underground and while in the bar, they were recognized and celebrated, but most importantly, they were safe. The movie also showcases a vivid illustration of the similarities among the police and slave catchers, and how the justice system keeps slavery alive.

Say Their Names

Throughout the film, Queen and Slim never use each other’s names, in fact no one does. While watching the film, I remember thinking wait, what are their names again? This speaks to the characters relatability. I remember after the Trayvon trial, President Obama gave a speech where he explained how he saw himself in Trayvon and if he had a son, he would probably look like him. The fact is, every time these senseless acts of police brutality happen we see our family, our friends and ourselves in the lives lost. This also sadly, speaks to the interchangeability of the names we associate with deserving justice from police brutality. It is not until the end, after they die, we learn the lead characters’ names of Ernest Hinds and Angela Johnson. This is to highlight the lack of identity and validity Black folks experience every day and how often times we are valued in death more than in life. I also find it fitting that world never found out what really happened the night they got pulled over. Their side of the story never existed.

Loving While Black

We are so conditioned to seeing Black families portrayed as dysfunctional and difficult to love, it is invigorating when we see ourselves depicted in a different way. Queen and Slim beautifully illustrated how significant Black love is for our families, our communities, and ultimately our culture. We see hints of this through the movie, like the line about building your man up to feel like a king in his home, as well as the scene when Slim popped Queen’s shoulder back into place with care, encouragement, and strength, but it is most visible at the end upon their capture.

As they arrive at the plane, walking to board, the police pull up behind them. In synchronization, they turn around, take each other’s hands, and face the music. This scene shows the strength and bravery of their Blackness, as well as the sacrifice and dedication of their love and how powerful these elements are when combined. Queen built her man up to be his legacy. She had all the ideas, she guided the journey, hell, she’s the one that decided to run in the first place. Had it not been for her, Slim would have been shot from the beginning. Slim protected his woman. He held her, took care of her when she was hurt, tired, and scared, and led them with her guidance, and that was illustrated in their deaths. She, being his legacy, and he, carrying her until his end, and at all costs, is the takeaway. That IS Black love.

Meet Rayne Stewart: Vitiligo Warrior

I want to be like Rayne Stewart when I grow up. Rayne is one of the many Americans suffering from Vitiligo, a non-curable condition causing discoloration and the loss of pigment in skin cells. Vitiligo affects nearly 50 million humans worldwide, and as many as 5 million citizens of the United States. It can be associated with other side effects such as psychological stress and hair discoloration.

Rayne was only 8 years old when she was diagnosed. In addition to the stress of the loss of her favorite aunt to ALS, and grandfather to cancer, Rayne suffered emotionally with fears and feelings of inadequacy, and being bullied in school. After moving to Loch Raven, Baltimore, Maryland at the start of 7th grade, and with the help of a close family friend, Rayne decided she was done trying to fit into the mold, and began embracing her Vitiligo. “I started looking at it as something that makes me unique,” she said.


Now only 14 years young, Rayne is a vitiligo warrior and using her voice to change the way children (and adults) who suffer from the condition view themselves. “I don’t mind the questions, and I understand the stares, because I know being different is not a bad thing,” she explained. Rayne has graced numerous schools, conventions, panels and communities with her rendition of self-acceptance. She even went on to write a children’s book called, Perfectly Different, which explains Rayne’s journey with vitiligo.

Rayne realized she wanted to write a book after seeing her cousin release a book series a few years ago. It took her 1 year but she wrote it, in it’s entirety, by herself; and, has sold over 300 books so far! Rayne admits she still suffers from body acceptance in some ways, but overall is thrilled with the progress she’s made and feedback she gets from people, especially children, who have read the book.

With current dreams of Broadway stardom, and one day meeting Ellen, Rayne continues to use her voice to empower others. The ninth grader is even considering a new book about transitioning from middle school to high school. Rayne’s story is different, and her influence is powerful. Her courage to share her story at such a young age is it only selfless, but also empowering. Because of this young queen, more people are learning to love the beauty in being perfectly different. Ya girl is HERE.FOR.IT!

Learn more about Rayne Stewart, and grab a shirt like mine by visiting her website www.perfectlydifferent.net/ and her Instagram.

Cat Burton: Keeping Culture in Pittsburgh

Catharyn Burton is a Pittsburgh treasure. Her knack for creative expression and director skills combined with her perspective of the industry as a woman of color, makes for a series of truly unique experiences from fashion shows to photo exhibits. Catharyn, or Cat as she prefers, uses her talents to curate, recruit for, and direct creative projects that go against the grain in an industry that thrives on being in trend.

Originally from Erie, PA she made her way to Pittsburgh after acquiring a degree in integrated marketing from Slippery Rock University. While at SRU, Cat was involved with many of the multicultural organizations, and helped them create a variety of successful events.


Reclaimed Roles: The Matrix photographed by Joe Lowrey

As a model and WOC, she’s experienced first hand the lack of diversity in the industry and how it’s affected her career. “My biggest struggle has been hair stylists not knowing how to “handle” my hair. I have gone to multiple sets for either print or runway where a majority of the models are assigned to get their hair done and the stylist is told to just leave mine as is.”

Experiences like these prompted Cat to create space to highlight concepts and ideas from other creatives whose perspectives are often overlooked.


Reclaimed Roles: A Christmas Carol photographed by Joe Lowrey

Styled by Example and Reclaimed Roles

Cat’s most recent projects are a fashion show which debuted back in March called Styled by Example, and a photo exhibit collaborated with several creatives in Pittsburgh, including MUA Martayla (@martymoment), stylist Alia (@aliassemakula), and photographer Joe Lowrey (@joelowreyphoto), called Reclaimed Roles.

“Styled by Example was created to celebrate Women’s History Month. I originally created it as an event at Slippery Rock University and wanted to showcase it to a larger audience,” Cat explains. The show highlighted women’s fashion trends from the 1920’s through today and each decade had its own stylist. Each stylist was able to curate their section, by choosing the music represented from their specified decade and creating a title for their section. Cat says she has already started planning for a bigger and better 2020 show as she hopes to, “progress Styled by Example into a brand that develops creative concepts and events.”


Reclaimed Roles: Kill Bill (left) and The Sound of Music (right) photographed by Joe Lowrey


Reclaimed Roles is Cat’s most recent project and is a series of photos recreated from popular movies with one key difference.

“I had originally reached out to Joe about doing a shoot recreating Alice in Wonderland at Randyland,” Cat explains. “That being the original shoot concept, I chose to work with a group of models that I already knew, and all were women of color. From the success of that shoot Joe and I decided to start doing more shoots recreating movie concepts with minorities portraying the traditionally white roles.”


Reclaimed Roles: The Blues Brothers photographed by Joe Lowrey

The goal of the exhibit was to highlight the lack of minority representation in the media industry. Aside from the already mentioned, Cat and Joe recreated scenes from A Christmas Carol, Kill Bill, The Matrix, The Sound of Music, and The Blues Brothers. The inspiration for the movies they chose came from movies Cat grew up on.

All in all, Cat is shaking up the industry with no intent to stop. She wants to change the narrative of the industry to be more inclusive all around. “I would love to get to a point where models with natural hair can walk on to any set and stylists have the knowledge and comfort level to just do their hair.” Her advice to others with the same mission is to collaborate. “Don’t be afraid to reach out to people in order to collaborate. There are a lot more people out their willing to help each other grow than I think people realize.”


Reclaimed Roles: Alice in Wonderland photographed by Joe Lowrey

You can learn more about Cat Burton and Styled by Example by following on social media at @cat_burton and @styledbyexample.

Grand Gesture, Indeed: My Reply to Pittsburgh Post Gazette’s Editorial Board on Morehouse Donor

Last week, the hidden racists of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette decided to peak out from the shadows, and illustrate the blatant ignorance that allows white supremacy to prevail. The editorial board, including executive and editorial director, Keith Burris, graced us with a tablespoon of audacity and a pinch of cultural delusion as the paper released an editorial damning the multi-billionaire philanthropist, Robert F. Smith for paying off the school loans acquired by the graduating class of 2019 from the HBCU, Morehouse College.

Normally, I just argue with the editors in my head while reading, but this time the illusion was too great to endure. The editors boldly proclaimed the lack of civic duty Mr. Smith taught the students by relieving them of an estimated $10 million in student loan debt collectively. The blatant undermining, implicit micro-aggressions, and theme of, “paying what you owe” is not only extremely hypocritical, but also racist AF.

Robert F. Smith is a businessman, investor, and a REAL billionaire. With a net-worth of nearly $4.4 billion, he has proved his capabilities and skilled business practices. In fact, according to this country, this man is beyond qualified to run the country based on his credentials, which far exceed the joke in office, who the editorial board appears to support. By referring to Mr. Smith’s success as, “a bit of luck,” Keith and the clan indicate a form of favor or courtesy, rather than sense and ability. One could even interpret it to mean Mr. Smith never paid what he owed and therefore has no right to relieve other Black folks of their financial burdens. I mean, that’s what luck is, right? With the assumption that not one person on the editorial board ever crossed paths with Mr. Smith, I’m intrigued how they came to this conclusion. Even if that were the case, isn’t it still more difficult to get lucky than to be born with privilege?

Beyond the, this-negro-is-already-doing-too-good-for-himself-and-has-the-nerve-to-help-other-negroes approach, Keith ‘n’ dem saw fit to question Mr. Smith’s “impulse” decision (as if he didn’t have this planned prior to his commencement speech) amid condescending dog whistle jargon that at best is racially micro aggressive, but probably ranks closer to the worst side of the spectrum of fucking racist.

Keith and the homies go on to indicate Black folks have poor work and financial values, a lack of understanding in how higher education works, and need to be guided toward, “more affordable options like community college, state universities or technical schools.”

Here’s the thing folks, everything Keith and the crew produced on that editorial was done out of the typical white-American attitude of ignorance and entitlement. The basis of the article is racism. The attitude that made this seem like a good point was a racist one. White folks have been buying their way into prestigious schools for years. White folks have been building businesses and leaving them to their children for decades. White folks have been passing down family slave money and building empires from other people’s, Black people’s, hard work for centuries! Now suddenly a Black self-starting billionaire does something to help 400 Black men level the playing field and decrease America’s student loan debt ratio, and he’s wrong?!

It is these reactions and ideals that fester in America and more closely, our city of Pittsburgh, resulting in crooked police and justice systems, racially motivated mass shootings, division and separation, and a fed-up Black people. Real shit, how you gonna be mad at somebody for giving away HIS money? How does that elicit such a strong response, especially in light of the recent (and white) college scandals reported? Why are we not afforded the same chance to pay our children’s future educational institutions, even with dignity, so they too, can get the education and lives they deserve?

Latrice Phoenix and Melanin Theory Apparel

Last week I got the chance to meet up with Latrice Phoenix, a business minded mommy from Pittsburgh who owns not one, not two, but three businesses BY HERSELF. In addition to her photography business, Latrice Phoenix Photography, and her non-profit, Melanin Mommies Pgh, Latrice’s newest endeavor is called Melanin Theory Apparel, which happens to be a pro-black fashion line designed to uplift and empower black folk through our biggest and brightest superpower, melanin. Naturally, when I found out about this dope brand, I had to learn more. I was able to catch up with Latrice and get the inside scoop on Melanin Theory Apparel and the direction she plans to take it.


Latrice in Got Melanin? Tee and Ari in Melanin Queen Tee

Ari: So, for those that don’t know, yes, you founded and own Melanin Theory but this endeavor is not second, but third to your photography business, Latrice Phoenix Photography, and your non-profit, Melanin Mommies Pgh. What inspired you to not only launch a third business, but also to create and supply pro-black fashion in Pittsburgh? 

Latrice: Melanin Theory has always been an idea of mine. I first designed the shirts a few years ago and went to my graphic designer with the idea. Unfortunately, I just had too much going on at the time to really launch the line, and it’s still not perfect. I eventually would like to add more apparel and accessories.

Ari: As a rising entrepreneur, what are some of the challenges you’ve faced with not only running multiple business, but also with being a double minority business owner?

Latrice: Financial support is always a struggle. I am juggling so many endeavors and I am a one woman show. Melanin Theory is fairly new, so it’s not perfect; I’m not perfect, but every day I strive to get better and put more into the brand.


Latrice in Melanin Theory Apparel


Ari: What motivates you to keep going every day? What is your “why?”

Latrice: My daughter is my why. I want her to always see her mom working and striving to accomplish her dreams. I want her to see me building towards wealth and financial freedom. Being an entrepreneur is hard, but I show her that it’s an option. When I was growing up I didn’t have anyone showing me other options. I knew going to school and going to college– even with that I’m the first in my family to graduate high school and college.

Latrice and her “why” in Melanin Theory Apparel


Ari: What can customers expect to see from Melanin Theory in the coming months?

Latrice: Great question. Customers can expect to see more apparel for kids. I’ll also be scouting for brand ambassadors and doing local photo shoots.

Ari: How would you explain your personal style?

Latrice: Honestly, at 29 I’m just coming into my “personal style”. I’ve done a lot of trial and error over the years trying to find my “style.” I’ve even hired a stylist a few times. I mostly wear what I’m comfortable with, I dress by my mood. If I’m feeling flirty and sexy I’ll look that way, if I’m feeling afro-centric I’ll look that way as well. Then sometimes, I want to look completely different and cater to my alter egos.


Ari in Melanin Theory Apparel


Ari: What is your overall goal with Melanin Theory Apparel? What is MTA’s legacy?

Latrice: My goal with Melanin Theory is to create apparel centered around the actual theory of the power in Melanin skin. Melanin Theory is an Afrocentric claim that the higher level of melanin in the skin the higher intellectual and physical ability ultimately creating supernatural powers. That is such a powerful theory and I want young black people to wear something that represents that–our magic.

Ari: What advice would you share with young WOC starting their own small business?

Latrice: Take the leap. Do it whatever it is. Just do it. Fight for your dreams and keep fighting. Yes, it’s hard, but no one said it would be easy so why not now?

Latrice and Ari for Melanin Theory Apparel

Special Thanks to Latrice Phoenix and Melanin Theory Apparel. Be sure to check out the Melanin Theory Apparel website here and keep up on social media through Facebook and Instagram as well.

Loving Your Reflection: Loving the Skin You’re in Fashion Show

Loving Your Reflection is a performance agency that hosts several body positive shows and events throughout Pittsburgh. This year, founder of Loving Your Reflection, Danielle Jackson Thorn, hosted an impeccable fashion show and performance called Loving the Skin You’re In, and it was filled with body love, shameless sexual expression, and the triumph that comes with finally loving and accepting the skin you’re in.

Facebook: Loving Your Reflection
Instagram: @loving_your_reflection

“The mission of Loving Your Reflection is to create a safe space for individuals to explore the relationships they have with their bodies and encourage them to change their inner narrative and learn to love the skin they’re in,” said Danielle. The show consisted of several different acts including performance art, belly dancing, spoken word, and of course, a fashion show. Danielle went on to say, “This event was necessary to bring together communities that may not have the chance to work together otherwise and highlight body diversity.” I had the privilege of taking part in this beautiful experience and not only got to meet some of the models and performers, but also got to observe backstage life, and walk in the show for one of my favorite brands, Fat Mermaids.

Above photos: Ari and Danielle rocking Fat Mermaids Tees during the show. Ari’s photo was taken by PJ Sage and Danielle’s was taken by Sarah Rose


Backstage

The air of a backstage right before and during the show is unlike any other. Yes, there are several performance people frantically running around and trying to contour the shit out of their faces, but more than that it is a community; a likeminded group of individuals, working collectively, and enhancing  the experience of the show and ultimately the perspective of the community. It’s similar to the magic you feel while dancing and singing to your favorite song in the mirror, but this time there’s a bunch of people dancing and singing with you and hyping you up! Honestly, it’s just one of those invigorating environments that will have you feeling anxious, fearless, nervous, brave, and empowered. Of course now I’m obsessed with recreating that atmosphere everywhere I go because it was such a good vibe.

Photo on the right was taken by Sarah Rose

What I wore and who I rocked on the runway

Ok, let’s talk outfit details. For the VIP meet and greet reception, we were required to wear black and change into runway attire once we were backstage before and during the show. I wore a fun and flirty off the shoulder LDB from Forever 21+. I paired it with yellow ruffle 2-inch heels and minimal jewelry.

As mentioned before, I rocked Fat Mermaids on the runway which was literally perfect because if you don’t know, Fat Mermaids is a body positive brand that mixes fashion with magic and it’s owned by a Black woman!  I was so hype to rock their “IDGAF About Your Diet, Susan” shirt. We styled the shirt tied up in the back with black swim bottoms, and a donut (yes, I literally ate a donut on the runway). It worked out beautifully.

Above pictures were taken by PJ Sage

Takeaways

One of the main takeaways from this experience was always keep growing. I know I say that a lot, but that’s because it is an ever evolving process and to be honest, I’m really reminding myself more so than preaching at y’all. Another takeaway I gained is to trust your creativity, and find people that believe in it just as much as you do. As mentioned before, the energy backstage was off the charts, but that’s because everyone was spawning positive vibes due to believing in each other’s individuality (now, imagine if America operated like this!). Finally, I was reminded to stop taking myself so seriously. So many times we get caught up in making sure our ideal image is the one we portray, and we literally miss the moment we are living through. Being in the company of so many beautifully different people encouraged me to harness my me and let her be great; hence, the donut on the runway.

Photo by Sarah Rose

I had such an amazing time at the show. I would like to send a special thank you to Danielle Jackson Thorn and her team for inviting me to take part in this epic experience and believing in my mission enough to showcase it in this production. I’m so grateful for this space, and look forward to seeing what Loving Your Reflection has in store for the future. I’d also like to thank Fat Mermaids for trusting me to rock their brand and helping facilitate body diversity.

Introducing The Queenpin PGH

Since the beginning of time as original people, Black women have been the refuge the world needs. We have given life to the nations, only to have ours taken away. We have held it down, only to be let go of once we are no longer needed. We have been the backbone of nearly every social justice movement in this country, only to stand alone, without support, and fight (and win) on our own. There is no stronger being than that of a Black woman, because even in the best of situations, the world still sees you as just that, a Black woman. Continue reading “Introducing The Queenpin PGH”

Why I am STILL Boycotting the NFL

2b00f405-b1d9-4662-a0e1-de788cb41c0bIt’s been a full two seasons since I’ve watched my beloved Steelers play. Ben is nearing retirement, Antonio Brown was apparently uninvited to the Pro Bowl, and I guess now the Kardashians have something to do with it? As much as it breaks my heart to miss them Burgh boys barely miss the playoffs and listen to Coach Tomlin’s answer as to why without mever really giving an answer, I can’t help but feel good about my continued boycott of the racist as ever National Football League.

Continue reading “Why I am STILL Boycotting the NFL”